Gumenite Mecheta ONLINE [gummi bears online ;) ]: NPICDF 21 :Conspiracy Theories

No Paper Inmigracion Carcel De Federal
Chapter Twenty One : Conspiracy Theories

Tuesday 8th of September , 2009

Today two of our fellow inmates left for good Big Franklin County Jail Brother - Kyle or Carl couldn't remember his name - the Canadian who already had spent about 8 mounts in Federal Prison for smuggling weed and was waiting for deportation in Canada and Edi the the Brazilian guy who spent about 10 days in "The House" and spent a lot of money on calling his fiance-beyonce.He left his lawyer's number , we managed to contact her and on Thursday we were about to talk with her about our case and what she can do about it . After more than a week in jail it is obviously that there is no way out without lawyer .period .Doesn't matter how much will cost , that is the only way pretty much .
As the old Bai luben form Orehovo used to say - give me bails , give me lawyers , give me prisons , give cable tv and u will see

With the time passing all that paranoia , lack of internet and drugs started to affected me for sure . I started seeing conspiracy in everything , especially in our roommates , they were all top secret agents . What about our Canadian friend Matthew , the firefighter he was an agent for sure , for sure .Today in the morning he gave such a great speech about jails , about his experience , about his 3 mounts affair with I.C.E. - no doubt i felt like a soldier of King Leonidas , it was like in the movies . - things like that the currency in the jail is one soup I personally didn't believe to that , Donny our friend form NH used to say that the money in the jail are in the cookies ....Matthew shared details about inside trading habits in the jails in MA , VT , NH - all those stories were so detailed that i was thinking that he had spent much more than three mounts in the jail .... They even did a really really realistic play with Mr. Casperson talking about the system , I.C.E. , about the worms in the food . After that Matthew said something about snitching and how this is the only way out , i was thinking that he was preparing us , ad the next thing he was about to ask us is to rat something that probably we didn't even know that we knew????

There was conspiracy i was sure about that - maybe i had special ability to shoot and curve a bullet with my fart and the next step was about to be a meeting with Angelina Jolie??Save the world , beat the bad guys and get hooked up with a hot chick , sounds like a plan for me . Maybe that was the reason why they were showing Mr. and Ms. Smith so many times on FX. - makes sense ...

And maybe our priest Kevin was a member of secret society , which purpose was to find the chosen one , the real boy lover , the next pope , who could lead the Catholic Church in the holly war against the evil forces of the universe .Save us all and got hooked up with a the most beautiful little boy .... sounds like another interesting plot ....

Another deep undercover agent was the cero cero siete Amigo , form the Mexican special forces , well actually he claimed to be from Guatemala , but as u know all brown Spanish talking individuals in USA are considered to be Mexicans ....so....
Amigo was pretending , very successfully by the way , that didn't know how to speak or understand English .It looked like that he was very well trained in hibernation , he was spending most of his time sleeping and just overhearing us ...Actually if u think about , all Mexicans know how to hibernate very very well , don't forget that one of the most wide spread way to cross the Mexican-USA border is in a hidden compartment of Walmart truck full with the latest Adidas or Nike collection Made In Mexico... Still Amigo was from Guatemala....

An The Uzbekistan agent AhrorAge.... he was deep deep undercover.So deep undercover pretending that was idiot , that he really became idiot...He was old school KGB , every day he was practicing his communist exercises -

Yes those exercises that u were doing in the school to warm up in the morning ...
May seem very very innocent and unharmful , but don't forget that the most dangerous worrier in the world is not Rambo , it is a old man who was just stretching his hands preparing for a single lethal move...AhrorAge was all the time writing some secret messages in Russian to his buddy Kusan downstairs...
He has no fuckin clue what was happening to him..

The only one agent who was already out of the game was the Mossad finest Michael who were watching us since the beginning , he failed to act like an idiot and his bosses bailed him out of the operation .But his role in the scrips wasn't so easy , he had to be a Hanna Montana , an Idiot and Gaspar at one time , man that is fuckin fuckin hard .... i don't think that even Jonny Depp will be able to do that performance...
And that was just another day in the jail full with agents , idiots , and a few bags of contraband cereal....

Content

Chapter 1: Prologue

Chapter 2: The Kidnap

Chapter 3: The Holding Cell

Chapter 4: The Condom Rule

Chapter 5: Franklin County Jail

Chapter 6: The Most Wanted

Chapter 7: The Uzbekistanis And The Telephone

Chapter 8: Calling The Embassy

Chapter 9: Popcorn[Jail Edition - Mr. and Mrs. Smith]

Chapter 10: Graffiti Art

Chapter 11: Popcorn[Jail Edition - Perfect Stranger]