Livin The High Life

I got my Cat Scratch Fever eight-track
My best friend's in a gun rack
I'm a lowlife
I owe everybody money
I think racist jokes are funny
I'm a lowlife
I got a dirty mind, a gutter mouth
I'm makin' time, I'm goin' out
With your wife

Cuz I'm a lowlife
I'm a lowlife

I got kids I never seen
And their momma's seventeen
I'm a lowlife
I take strippers out to breakfast
You can add that to my checklist
I'm a lowlife
Ahh the landlord called the rent is due
I spent it all on a Kiss tattoo
I Rock n Roll all night

Cuz I'm a lowlife
I'm a lowlife
I'm a lowlife
Livin' the highlife

I'm watchin' porno on the TV
Wonderin' why she'd ever leave me
I'm a lowlife
The object of my affection
Asked the police for protection
I'm a lowlife
The romance is gone, I'm doin' fine
Me and your mom had a real good time
Just last night

Cuz I'm a lowlife
I'm a lowlife

I make black music for the white man
Keep cocaine upon my nightstand
I'm a lowlife
Ain't never hung out in the Catskills
But I've been to jail in Nashville
I'm a lowlife
I've got a dirty mind, a gutter mouth
I'm makin' time, I'm goin' out
With your wife

I'm a lowlife
I'm a lowlife
I'm a lowlife
Livin' the highlife




If you qualify for 3 or more of these characteristics, you are most likely to be considered white trash:

1) Cut-off denim shorts
2) mullet
3) tellum
4) any man with a ponytail
5) hair long enough to wipe your own ass
6) scrunchies
7) jaw clips
8) butterfly clips
9) more the than 3 separate ponytail holders in your hair at the same time
10) leather clothing
11) acid washed jeans
12) black reeboks
13) tatto jewelry
14) illusion jewelry
15) wallet chain
16) white/mettalic eyeshadow/eyeliner
17) two thin peices of hair dangling while rest of hair is slicked back
18) clear shoes
19) light up shoes
(if you own clear light up shoes, give up immediatly)
20) perms
21) big '80's bangs
22) cut off flannel shirts
23) faded/stone washed black jeans
24) if more than 2 articles of clothing that you are wearing is camoflauge and you are not in the army
25) visible bra straps
26) extremely long fake fingernails
27) decailed fingernails
28) playboy bunny paraphanalia
29) sticker gems
30) sticker gem illusion tattoos
31) fake tattoos
32) magnetic peircings
33) orange tans
34) mechanically crimped hair
35) some crimped, some straight hair
36) thong hanging out of your pants
37) if your name is embroidered on more than one belonging
38) if your favorite restaraunt is either red lobster or ponderosa
39) if your jeans don't have butt pockets
40) if your jeans have zippers anywhere other than the fly
41) if your jeans have cargo pockets
42) if your pants zip off into shorts
43) overusage of gel (i.e. when it looks wet while dry, when it crisps when you touch it, or when your hair is invincible)
44) wearing curlers outside of your home
45) wearing bug puffy slippers to the grocery store
46) lip liner with no other lipstick or with lipstick that is way to light
47) either way to dark or way to light lipstick
48) visible underwear lines
49) beaters (especially colored)
50) thick gold chains
51) platform shoes
52) more than one snap clip in your hair at a time
53) socks and sandles
54) grown out highlights
55) body gliiter
56) tieing t-shirts
57) fake hair
58) slicking hair back in ponytail with toooo much hair spray
59) rat tail
60) wearing an undershirt as a real shirt
61) beer paraphanalia
62) girls that know how to shoot a shot gun
63) real furniture on the front porch
64) plastic/lawn furniture in the house
65) visible tanning tattoo's
66) nail tattoo's
67) fake bullet hole car decales
68) shirts that say 'angel', 'princess', 'hottie', 'perfect 10', 'daddy's girl', etc....
69) shirts with wolves
70) dangling belly button rings
71) trucker hats
72) when you cant see the back of your car because it is covered in bumper stickers